When Joy Feels Out of Reach: Signs You’re Struggling and How to Reignite It

Joy is a natural state for many of us—something we often take for granted in both the little things (micro joys) and the big picture (macro joys). But what happens when joy feels distant, even elusive? When you're struggling to find joy, it can be disorienting, especially if you're someone who usually gravitates toward positivity and gratitude. Recognizing the signs of joylessness and finding ways to rekindle it is essential for emotional and spiritual well-being.

One powerful tip I’ve learned is this: when joy feels out of reach, go outward to go inward. By being of service to others and opening yourself to something greater than yourself—whether it’s God, your community, or a cause—you can reconnect to the deeper, lasting joy that fuels your spirit.

In this article, we’ll explore the signs that you may be struggling to find joy, practical ways to identify the root of the issue, and actionable steps to reignite joy in your life.

Signs You’re Struggling to Find Joy

When joy begins to slip away, it doesn’t always announce itself with flashing lights. Often, the signs are subtle and easy to dismiss. When joy begins to ebb, it often manifests in subtle ways, easy to overlook amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life. You might notice a growing irritability, a persistent lack of motivation, or a desire to withdraw from social interactions. Physically, you might experience headaches, fatigue, or digestive issues. Emotionally, you may feel disconnected, numb, or overwhelmed. Recognizing these signs is crucial, as it's the first step towards reclaiming your joy.

Here are some common indicators:

1. Increased irritability

You find yourself snapping at loved ones or colleagues.

2. Feeling Emotionally Flat

You notice that even things that used to light you up—like a favorite hobby, a comforting routine, or time with loved ones—feel dull or uninspiring.

3. Loss of Curiosity

The world starts to feel small and predictable. You may no longer feel motivated to explore, learn, or try new things, leaving you stuck in a rut.

4. Difficulty Practicing Gratitude

Gratitude and joy are deeply connected. If you find it hard to identify even small blessings or feel resentment creeping in, it may be a sign that joy has taken a backseat.

5. Overwhelm and Burnout

When life feels like an endless to-do list or you’re caught in a cycle of stress, it can cloud your ability to experience joy.

6. Spiritual Disconnect

For many, joy is intertwined with a sense of purpose or connection to God or a higher power. A sense of spiritual dryness can manifest as a lack of joy.

7. Physical Symptoms

Lack of joy often shows up in the body. You might feel chronically fatigued, experience tension, or notice that you’re withdrawing socially and physically.

How to Reignite Your Joy

When you recognize that joy has taken a backseat, it can feel overwhelming. But remember, it's never too late to reclaim your happiness. By taking intentional steps and making conscious choices, you can reignite your joy and rediscover your zest for life.

Here are some practical steps to consider:

1. Go Outward to Go Inward

One of the most powerful ways to reconnect to joy is by shifting your focus outward. This principle acknowledges that joy isn’t something we generate in isolation—it often emerges when we contribute to the world around us.

• Be of Service: Volunteer at a local shelter, mentor someone, or offer a helping hand to a friend or neighbor in need. Acts of service allow you to see the impact you can have, reminding you of the interconnectedness of life.

• Connect with (God) Your Higher Power, Source: Pray, meditate, or spend time in nature reflecting on your purpose. When you allow yourself to be used by our Creator (God) or align with a higher calling, you open your heart to joy in profound ways.

2. Practice Micro Acts of Gratitude

Start small by identifying one thing you’re grateful for each day. Write it down or share it with someone. Gratitude, no matter how small, can open the door to joy.

3. Re-engage Your Senses

Joy often comes through experiencing the world with fresh eyes. Try simple, sensory experiences:

• Take a walk and notice the sights and sounds.

• Cook a meal and savor each flavor.

• Listen to music that stirs your soul.

4. Reconnect with Your Community

Joy thrives in connection. Reach out to a trusted friend, join a group with shared interests, or spend time with family.

5. Shift Your Focus to What You Can Control

If overwhelm is dampening your joy, focus on small, actionable steps. Clean one corner of your home, tackle a single project, or take a moment to breathe deeply. Small wins can restore a sense of capability and joy.

6. Lean Into Spiritual Practices

If you feel disconnected from God or your spiritual core, return to practices that have grounded you in the past. Scripture, journaling, worship, or spending time in silence can help reignite your sense of purpose and joy.

Why “Going Outward to Go Inward” Works

When joy feels far away, it’s easy to turn inward in frustration, self-pity, or even self-criticism, asking, “What’s wrong with me?” While it’s important to start within, it doesn’t always lead us to joy. Sometimes this inward spiral often leads us further from the joy we’re seeking. The antidote? Turn outward. By serving others, engaging in acts of kindness, or reconnecting with God, you shift your perspective from what’s lacking to what you can give.

I recently spoke about this on an episode of Sunday SoulDay with my friend and former spiritual life coach, Dave Gibbons. I spoke about a difficult time in my life and going how outward to go inward worked for me - that joy often flows not from what we receive, but from how we pour ourselves into others; being a water filler. When we let go of our inner preoccupation and focus on being present for someone else, we find ourselves tapping into the kind of joy that transcends circumstances.

Service is a divine reminder of our capacity to make a difference, even in the smallest ways. It doesn’t have to be grand, remember the orange peel theory. It could be checking in on a friend, liking and sharing someone’s content, preparing a meal for someone in need, or simply being a source of encouragement. These outward gestures create a ripple effect: as we lift others, we are lifted too.

Here’s something I’ve learned:

“Gratitude grows when we step into someone else’s story.” Damesha Craig

Acts of service allow us to see life from another’s perspective, rekindling a sense of gratitude for what we already have. And gratitude is the foundation of joy—one small spark of it can light up even the darkest places in our hearts.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. When I’ve been stuck in moments where joy felt out of reach, simply showing up for others helped me reconnect with purpose. For example, I’ve felt the warmth of gratitude in the smile of someone I’ve helped or been inspired by the resilience of someone going through their own challenges. These moments remind me that joy isn’t always about ease or abundance; it’s about presence and connection.

“When we step out of our own shadows to serve, we not only illuminate the lives of others but also cast light on the joy within ourselves.” - Damesha Craig

By going outward, we create space for God to work through us. It’s often in these selfless moments that we uncover the deeper meaning behind our struggles. Instead of looking inward for joy, we find it reflected back to us in the lives we touch, revealing that the joy we seek was never truly gone—it just needed a reason to emerge.

Whether it’s through acts of service, encouraging words, or simply offering your time, going outward is not just an escape from inner frustration; it’s a path to spiritual renewal. Joy, after all, isn’t just about what we feel—it’s about what we share.

Joy isn’t something you lose forever—it’s a state that can be nurtured, even during challenging times. By recognizing the signs of struggling to find joy and taking steps to reconnect, you can reclaim it.

When in doubt, remember: go outward to go inward. Open your heart to service, align with your spiritual purpose, and allow joy to flow through you once again. Joy isn’t just something you feel; it’s something you create and share, making the world a little brighter in the process.